looking back


When i was in Year 1 and Year 2 i always looked up to the big Year 5 and Year 6 kids, thinking they were so inspiring and cool and that i would never really be big like them. I don't know why, but i never really imagined or expected myself to be in their shoes one day. But the next thing i realised, i was already in high school, never really realising that perhaps there was another Year 1 kid who looked up to me in the way that i had when i was their age. So when i was in high school, i always looked up to my seniors in Form 2 and Form 3, thinking they were so wise and intelligent and that i would never really be in their position myself. It's not that i never thought i would grow up and move on with my life, but i guess i was already living in the moment and couldn't really see the future with me in it. It sorta scares me actually, trying to imagine the future. Mostly it is because i'm afraid the future won't turn out the way i expected it to, because i can't hep but have high expectations sometimes.Oh wait, back to the story. The next thing i knew, i was already finished with PMR exams, and was about to enter Form 4. Whoah, how did all of that happen so fast?
Now i'm in Form 5. I still cannot imagine the year after this one, how i would be like in it. But i guess there are many perks of not really planning or imagining every detail of your future; you get to live and appreciate and love the present.
The years went by so fast, sometimes i can't seem to catch up with the present. I guess i am the type of person who likes to look back, especially at the good moments in life with the ones who made it amazing. The next thing i know, i might already be working or married or something. And i'll look back, at this moment and the ones before and after it, and keep wondering what the future from there on will be like, but never really imagining it. Or maybe i'll be a little different in the future, who knows? I'll look back at this post, or at my wall, and smile at the magnificent, precious moments in my life. InsyaAllah, i will.


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